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7 Ways To Say No Without Saying No to Children

mom saying no to baby

Parents frequently asked questions about kids discipleship

When should you start saying no to a baby?
How do I say no without feeling guilty?
How do you say no without being rude?
How do you handle stubborn kids?
How Can I Make My Baby Smart?
How do you say no to someone asking for money?
How can you say no?
How do you politely decline an invitation?

Saying no to your kids is a healthy thing. But sometimes it is the hardest thing a parent has to do. To set limits for your kids is difficult. But the best way of parenting is the one that involves both warmth and limitations. Parents always want to do best for their children and want to provide them with everything they can. Saying no to their kids can be wearisome for the parents. Some parents give in to their children’s wishes to avoid an argument while others feel bad for disappointing their kids. But saying no is an important responsibility of the parents and is an important part in the upbringing of the children. Your kids may dislike for a certain time for saying no but in the long run this will teach them important lessons about getting along in life.What is an assertive parent?

When and how to say no to your kids is a question in every parent’s mind. Following are some instances that can help a struggling parent,

  1.  Say no to your child when he is unable to recognize the consequence of his actions.  When his actions might get him or others hurt or might break something. Children are unable to see the outcomes, it is then you who must intervene and stop them beforehand. Your child will certainly protest but at the end it will be for his betterment. The solution in such a case can be to divert your child’s attention to something else so that he will forget asking you about a certain thing. Since children are quick to forget and move on.
  2. Children have the habit to ask their parents for favors for things they can do themselves. Though  you must pamper your kids sometimes but do not spoil them . They must have the habit to do things they are capable of doing themselves. This helps them to become competent and capable of doing things later in life and not depend on anyone to solve their problems. Let them watch and copy you. This way they will learn to employ self-help in their lives.
  3.  Do not buy your kids everything they put their hands on.  You must acknowledge their wish but do not instantly get them what they want. Sometimes it is a question of what they need and not what they want. By saying no in this situation teaches your child to prioritize their needs and wants. They will learn the importance of truly necessary things in life and will learn to handle disappointment and longing.
  4. Sometimes you have to say no incase of sudden plan changes, for example you were to take your children to the zoo but some guest dropped in. In such a condition,  a no helps your child to understand of patience . This develops in them flexibility to adapt to change in their lives later on. Tell them that if they cannot do a certain activity now, they will do it tomorrow, without making a big fuss.
  5. Children have a self-centered approach, they always want everything for themselves.  Say no to them when someone else’s need matter more than their own.  If you want to go somewhere important, tell your child that their movie ought to wait till the next day or next week. This helps your child learn generosity and patience. They learn that sometimes we have to put others’ situations before ourselves.
  6. If your child asks you to do something that you resent to do, then your child ought to hear a no. some families have their own set of rules and priorities, there is no shame in sticking to them. Be proud of your values.  Do not hear from child that their friends’ parents let them do a certain thing while you did not.  This teaches your child the importance of family values and priorities.
  7. If what your child asks could bring resentment to you in any way, then your child ought to hear no.  It is better to not do a job than doing it with anger and bitterness.  If you cannot accompany your child to his field trip, then tell him so. This will teach your child to compromise and choosing alternatives.

It is not a sign of healthy parenting to get your child whatever he wants and whenever he wants it. Rather you must set boundaries for him and make him learn about priorities. Children who have heard a no in their lives, grow up to be better adults who are able to handle disappointments, choose alternatives, compromise for others, know their values and learn the difference between wants and needs. Therefore, do not be afraid to say no to your child when necessary and remember  No other But Mother .

 

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