Is It Right To Call Your Child Your Biggest
What is Best way to celebrate the kids success ?
Is it always possible to mold your child the way parents want ?
Parents are one of the first and biggest influences behind a child’s success and parents role child development is definitive.They are the first role models in their life. Parents also invest a lot of their time and energy on their children. Their biggest happiness is to see their children succeed. But is it right for parents to call their children their biggest accomplishment? What sort of effect will create on the children and how will it influence their self-esteem and confidence?
The success of a child is indeed the success of the parents. But when parents label their children as their accomplishments, it creates a negative effect on the child’s mind. It makes the child look at himself as a possession of his parent. Such a child will always find himself in control of his parent’s wishes and desires. He will never be able to realize his independent identity but will always be under the shadow of his parents. This negative effect violates the child’s independence and decision making ability. When parents see their children as their accomplishments, they often employ harsh means to make the children submit to their will because they want the results according to their wishes.
Parents are responsible for their kids. But sometimes there are things that they cannot control. Children are influenced by other things as well such as their environment, their friends and some events from their childhood for example. Children are like sponges, they absorb information from their surroundings which affect their decision making, their behavior and their achievements in life. Here genetic influences also play a major role in determining a child’s choices and interests and so does the influence of parents. But children must always have their accomplishments credited to themselves. Parents do have a large role to play altogether. It is however more important that your child gets praised for his deeds more than the parents.
Every child has his own individuality, likes and preferences. It is not always possible to mold your child the way you want. You have to listen to what your child wants. Because of the number of factors influencing his mind, he may sometimes make decisions that you never expected. Or behave in a way that you never did. When you see your child as your accomplishment, you try to make your child behave the way you want. This sometimes involves force, coercion or abuse. The parents do not realize that this is much damaging for their kids than letting them do what they decide. You can guide your children through their lives, you can exhibit the behavior you want your children to adopt, but you can force nothing. This will only create in them negative influences that you never ever expected. Each individual is unique in his own way. And the best way to deal with this individuality is to accept it as it is. Be a guiding light for your children always, but do not force them into your mold.
They best way to celebrate the success of your child is to join in his happiness and be appreciative of his efforts. Because the success of your child is indeed the accomplishment of your kid and not solely your own. You should be a positive influence but not a directing force. And yes there is a difference between them.