Peaceful parent happy kids
In both the U.S. and the U.K., the first Monday after the holidays is called the ‘Divorce Day’, and January is called as the “Divorce Month”. The pressures of making multiple decisions related to finances, travel plans, get-togethers, meal planning, family and sometimes difference in religious, cultural and spiritual practices between the parents, often put the couple and the family under great stress. Sometimes these triggers may lead to higher conflicts resulting in divorce. These incidences affect as much as 1.5 million children in the United Stated alone.
It is therefore important for the parents to think about ways to keep their children out of this stressed environment to make their holidays peaceful and fun. To start with, parents must devise a prevention plan to cope with the holiday stressors and prevent the conflict from gaining height. This may allow the children to have a peaceful and joyful holiday season. Children of the divorced or divorcing parents often get caught in the gift- giving competitions, sibling rivalries and divorce arguments as each side tries to pull on the children for the holidays.
Here are proven tips for the parents faced with such situations to help them have a positive and compromising attitude in resolving conflicts in a healthier way so that their children can be at peace.
How to make holidays useful, less stressful, special, interesting, full of fun, and last longer:
- You must ask your children to make a list of the most important things to them in the holidays. Keep that mind and make sure you are able to provide it in the best way to your kids.
- You must ask your partner what is the most meaningful and dear part of the holidays for them. Make sure you remind yourself each day to focus on each other’s happiness.
- If you both have religious and cultural differences, make sure to respect each other’s differences and participate with your partner to the fullest. This helps to make your children learn religious and celebratory tolerance, acceptance and respect for diversity.
- Make sure you make a mutual budget plan before the holidays and stick to it. So that you can prevent conflicts and arguments over finances over the holidays.
- If you are already divorced, do not confuse the child to make a choice between the parents over the holidays. Make a fair and consistent turn taking system where children are able to enjoy their holidays with both their parents without having to make a hard choice.
- Develop a habit of being a supportive listener. This is a sure way of decreasing the tensions between the partners and also helps to resolve any conflict that occurred during the holidays in a peaceful and nice manner. This allows you to understand your partner’s wishes and cater to their needs without raising an argument so that both of you and your children can have quality time together.
- Make sure that the siblings are kept together for the holidays. So just in case of increased tensions and arguments within the family, the siblings keep each other strong with emotional support that allows them to face major transitions in their life effectively. It is a vital aspect of their memory and relationship development since this is the longest relationship we have.
- Make sure to stay away from the blame game during the time when everyone wants to be together and happy. When parents blame each other, they unknowingly cause such a bad effect on their children’s mind that they become angry, confused and guilty. This makes it hard for them to have their share of happiness in the holidays.
- It is often observed that both the parents and family members have their own way to celebrate the holidays which they think is the best and most fun. You may have your own idea of making your holiday joyful but make sure to avoid the things that your partner dislikes even though you disagree with your partner. This is very important issue because disagreement on this part can seriously impair your child’s ability to feel loved or attached to both parents. When parents are not able to cooperate between themselves, how can they expect their children to develop a cooperative and understanding stance in life. Hence the parents should show cooperation and acceptance towards each other so their children can develop bonding and trust with each parent.
- Make sure you develop a flexible attitude towards each other and your children and make a habit to compromise. Because marriage and parenting are very difficult aspects of our lives that change us in ways we had not expected. The more we adapt to this change, the more our children will flourish in their lives.
Holidays indeed are a difficult matter to cope with. Both the parents are faced with difficult choices and hard decision makings which can affect feelings, heighten emotions, burden the finances and sometimes result in a buildup of painful memories. The best way to cope with your problems and to make your holidays a healthier experience for your children, try to implement the above tips in your life. Make sure to keep your children out of your emotional wars and mutual disagreements so that they can enjoy their holidays to the fullest.